Stay HOME!

About 8 or 9 years ago, I overheard a conversation in the grocery store. A young couple with their baby were talking to the checker. The checker obviously knew the mom well enough to inquire about what she was doing with her life. She asked the mom what she was doing for work. The mom responded that she was staying home with her new baby. The checker said, "That's nice," but hurriedly added, "but you won't do that for too long will you? I would go crazy!" The mom agreed, "Oh no, no. I could never do that. That would be way too hard to stay home forever." They agreed that 6 months or so was a good time to find a good day care.
I felt sick to my stomach.

Recently, I've had some great opportunities to see stay at home moms in action.












My sister Whitney has 2 little boys. I visited her in Minnesota this spring. The entire week I was there, I watched her move around like a whirlwind doing laundry and cooking, cleaning and straightening, baths and bedtime. Even with the two of us there, it was hard work.
Last week, I was in Seattle with my brother and his wife. They have 2 kids, as well. Again, we spent hours and hours attending to the kids and making sure they were both happy and healthy.

Although I couldn't have been happier either place, I'm amazed at a)how much hard work they do daily, b) how little credit they get, and c) how much their husbands have to trust them to bring up their children.
I've already mentioned some of the hard work they do daily, but none of that includes doctor visits, playdates, or potty training. No moment is their own. The patience in these women is astounding. And, unless nominated for Mother of the Year, a mother's efforts go widely unnoticed. My brother and brother-in-law are great supporters, but their wives get little credit elsewhere. The most astounding thing I noticed with my sisters' families is how much trust my brother and brother-in-law have to have in their wives. These are the women their children will spend every waking moment seeing for the first several years of their lives. If the mother is a yeller, the child will learn to yell. But, if the mother is sweet and patient, the child will learn that, too. I'm so grateful my sister and sister-in-law are the sweet patient types.

Currently, my area of expertise allows me one especially great argument to support homemakers: I teach their children in school. Every new school year (I'm going on year 8), I start out with a new batch of kids in my class. In the first day, I can pinpoint the kids who have stay at home moms. They are generally the kids who are well-adjusted. They make friends easily, and they work hard. They read and write better, and they are better in math. I don't have to worry that my expectations will be met. Full time moms volunteer at the school. They generally read more consistently with their children. In my experience, a stay at home mom is a far better team player than a mom who is working full time.

I met a girl yesterday who told me she was just starting college to be a teacher. When I told her I was a teacher, she commented that she loved the idea of teaching because it is "such a perfect profession for a mom." I quickly told her no profession is good for a mom. When I get home from school now, I crave adult conversation. I have no desire to help kids with homework or ask them what they learned in school. I would never be able to give my kids the care they need as a teaching mother. I told her I will be a stay at home mom when I have kids, barring any tragedy beyond my control. My neighbor was shocked at my response. She told me she hoped I married rich. I told her I probably won't marry rich, and I don't have to have wealth to make it work out. I would rather live mud hut than let someone else raise my babies! I will stay home with my kids regardless of what sacrifices I have to make for them.

By they way, thanks Richard and Whitney for the blog inspiration.